A little help from the Palmer clan once again

As my previous post briefly explained the story of how I broke my jaw and an earlier post described my favourite scars, I feel now is a good time to show assignment number 35 Ask your family to describe what you do.

Even though the assignment does request that they don’t talk about what happened in the past, inevitably there is a link between those two assignments and this one. Except for my Dad's description who wrote:

"Ewan is Emeritus Professor of Party at the University of Sunderland."

My eldest Brother Alex (of the Beauty and the Beast fame) describes me by saying:

As far as I can tell Ewan does very little. Officially he studies journalism at Sunderland University, but I suspect that this is just a front to divert attention away from his ACTUAL occupation, which is to purposely desecrate his entire body with scars, so not only will he eventually be covered so completely in scar tissue that he can finally follow his true calling (becoming Scarman, the North East's premier Supervillan, who lurks around the back streets of Sunderland and Gateshead, kicking over bins, loitering needlessly and playing ball-games on pieces of grass where it is explicitly prohibited) but also because it's a great ice-breaker. Ewan's religion strictly prohibits employment. In his spare time he remarks to himself how hairy his arms are. At the moment he's already preparing to regret what he gets up to tomorrow night. He wears t-shirts that regularly fall foul of the Obscene Publications Act.


And finally, my dear Mum who has possibly been traumatised the most through my actions writes (her bold lettering by the way):

Well here goes. What do I think that you do? I know that you are a second year student at Sunderland Uni, studying journalism, and you live in a large shared house on a street whose address I always have to look up on my mobile. You work at the Uni bar that re opened this year and enjoy your course. Most of the time I don’t try and think what else you may be doing because of your ability to sustain physical damage, but I can always watch the best of them on Facebook. I think that you enjoy Uni and have a good set of friends. This latest assignment that you are doing seems a bit of a hoot.

Love you
Mum x